»Dimar Siding Company«

Siding. Its our thing. Its all we do.

A Contractor in Heaven

A contractor dies on a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.

Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations!”

“Congratulations for what?” asks the contractor

“Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter. “We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.”

“But that’s not true,” says the consultant. “I only lived to be forty.”

“That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter, “we added up your time sheets!”


Two blonde carpenters

Two blonde carpenters were working on a house. The one who was nailing down the timber would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.

The other, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”

The first explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away ’cause it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in!”

The second blonde got completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!”


Lost Ear Accident

Two carpenters, John and Dave, were working and John, up on a scaffold accidently cut off his ear.

He yelled down to Dave…”Hey! look our for my ear I just cut off!”

In a little bit Dave calls up to John, ” is this your ear?”

John looks down and says “Naw! Mine had a pencil behind it!”


Construction Worker Math Test

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Smith.

The boss took an instant dislike to him and thought to himself, “I’m not hiring that lazy bum!”

So he decides to set a test for Smith, hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and the boss would be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

The first question was, “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”

So Smith says, “Dat’s easy,” and proceeds to draw three tall, leafy trees.

The boss says, “What the hell’s that?” Smith says, “Tree ‘n tree n’ tree makes nine.” Fair enough, says the boss.

Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Smith stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Dere ya go sir,” he says.

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” Smith says, “Each tree’s dirty now! So it’s dirty tree, n’ dirty tree n’ dirty tree, dats 99.”

The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to actually hire Smith, so he decides to up the ante. “Alright, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”

Smith stares into space again, then he shouts, “Got it!” He makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, “Dere ya go sir, 100.”

The boss looks at Smith’ attempt and thinks ‘Ha! got him this time.’ Go on Smith, you must be mad if you think that represents a hundred.”

Smith leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, see? So now ya gots dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, an’ dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes one hunnerd. When do I start me job?”